Body Shaming and Eating Disorders

Recently I attended a close friend’s wedding. It had been a while since I had attended an event due to the pandemic, so it felt great to be out and about. A couple who recognized my family came to say hi. They were thrilled to see me. They praised my figure and said that it was fantastic that I had been able to maintain my body weight. I felt embarrassed. They said it a couple of times. During lunch, they kept staring at my plate and asked if I ate healthily all the time. I got a little upset and told them that the reason I was skinny and ate the way I did was because I had been unwell and had lost weight due to my illness (as some of you may remember from my radio show). They then said, “Oh yes you used to be chubby as a child, right?” to which I replied, “No I was never chubby. I was a healthy child.” They rubbed me the wrong way. Unfortunately, this was not the first time I was subjected to such unwarranted comments.

I had grown up in a culture, in a society, where body shaming was natural. People feel they have the right to spew unsolicited remarks and advice all the time. I still cannot fathom why they do it.

Growing up, I was a healthy child. I ate well, exercised, and had a healthy weight for my height. I was never fat. But I was always made to feel fat. In grade four, my best friend at that time had lost a lot of weight and had suddenly become one of the most popular kids in school. She did not want to be associated with me anymore and started bullying me. Even though I disliked her for chipping away at my self-esteem, I wanted to be skinny, fashionable, and popular like her. Another instance of when I was body shamed regularly was when I would visit family in India. My grandparents would say I was too short and that I would never get married. My grandfather said I should have only one chapati (flat bread) a day so that could I maintain a thin figure which would make it easier to find a suitable match. When I attended university, an extremely close friend thought I was on the heavier side as well. That was the last straw. I decided to lose weight. I exercised strenuously at the gym for 2-3 hours a day and started dieting. However, I was not losing weight fast enough. I then wondered how models and actresses were so skinny all the time and decided to look up how they achieved and maintained their slender body figures. I read about how they would not eat for days and would exercise vigorously. I was essentially researching about eating disorders without realizing it. I decided to follow suit. I restricted my food intake and if I had a craving for certain foods, I would binge on them and then purge. I lost weight drastically and rapidly and felt great about myself. Unfortunately, I had become an anorexic to the point where I started having fainting spells, multiple dental issues and my menstrual cycle became irregular. The latter was a wake-up call. I looked it up on the internet and sure enough infertility was one of the side effects of having an eating disorder. I was so worried about my future ability to have children that I decided to stop ruining my health just to gain validation from people who did not respect or love me for who I was. Gradually, I returned to eating and exercising normally and I grew healthy and strong. I was so proud of myself. Luckily, this anorexic phase lasted less than a year. Sadly, there are many people out there who suffer for many years and do not seek help.

Let’s dive a little deeper into what an eating disorder is, what causes them and what can be done to combat them.

So, what is an eating disorder?

An eating disorder is a range of psychological disorders; a disturbance of eating that interferes with health. It is described as abnormal or disturbed eating habits, an eating pattern that is out of what is considered to be “normal” which can lead to an array of health problems. Some examples include anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa and binge eating disorder.

Anorexia nervosa has two sub-types: restrictive type which is where weight loss is achieved by fasting, dieting and/or excessive exercise, while the second sub-type is the binge-eating/purging type which entails bingeing periods followed by self-induced vomiting and/or use of laxatives, enemas, or diuretics. These individuals have an intense fear of gaining weight or becoming fat. They have a distorted perception of body weight and shape or denial of the medical seriousness of one’s low body weight. The prevalence of anorexia in the US is estimated to be 0.6%.

Bulimia nervosa is when a person binge eats and then uses certain behaviors to prevent weight gain such as purging, using laxatives or diuretics, exercising excessively, or fasting and having a restrictive diet. It is more prevalent in females than males in all age groups. In the US, adult prevalence is 1.0% and adolescent prevalence is 0.9%, with the median age of onset of 18 years. The prevalence of bulimia nervosa has increased over time. The main difference between anorexia and bulimia nervosa is that individuals with the former are underweight while individuals with the latter may have normal weight or may even be overweight or obese. Binge eating disorder or compulsive overeating is when an individual overeats excessively. They have no control around food and are unable to stop eating even if they are painfully full and are aware that they have eaten enough.

Mixed picture eating disorders exist where a person has features of all these disorders above. For example, they might purge without having binged. They might restrict food but not be excessively underweight.

All eating disorders carry serious health risks, with effects on digestion, hormones, heart, liver, and brain function. It also effects mental health such that many individuals who suffer from an eating disorder most likely have anxiety, depression or can be impulsive and obsessed. Anorexia has a high death rate and the rates of suicide among people with anorexia and bulimia are much higher compared to age-matched normal eaters.

Why do people develop eating disorders? There are several reasons why people develop eating disorders. It can be due to your genes, if your parents have issues with food, being teased about your appearance, physical or emotional abuse during childhood, early puberty in girls, trauma or obesity in childhood, sexual identity problems, having a friend with an eating disorder, or having problems within the family and personal relationships. Having high expectations and the want to avoid conflicts are connected to anorexia while alcoholism, high levels of drama, and depression in the mother are associated with bulimia. Many times, eating disorders are a response to stress for example when parents divorce or someone changes school. It starts off as a way to cope with the stress. But the deeper you dig, you realize that it is due to an exaggerated need for control, not just of feelings, but also of how other people perceive them. They have low self-esteem, perfectionist opinions about how they should look, and depend on others for approval. People with bulimia most probably did not have their nurturing needs met in their relationships growing up while anorexia according to experts is an expression of pain or deep sadness.

Additionally, it is the social and cultural norms that we grow up in. There are cultural pressures that glorify thinness and place value on obtaining the perfect body, narrow definitions of beauty that include women and men of specific body weights and shapes.

Lastly, media plays a role in the development of eating disorders. Watching music videos and movies that cast unrealistically thin stars, beauty pageants like Miss World and Miss Universe where being underweight is rewarded with a crown and fame, and the use of social media apps such as Instagram where being scrawny is promoted as the ideal weight, act as factors that drive adolescent girls and women to take on dangerous dieting behaviors often leading to eating disorders. Magazines portray the sexiest men and women as chiseled and skinny on their cover pages. Celebrities attract attention for their weight loss rather than their accomplishments, and the greater the furor about their size the more attention they receive. Eating disorders are on the rise among boys who admit to getting a lot of dieting and exercise tips from Instagram. A study of seventh and eighth graders in Australia found that 45% of boys had engaged in risky ways to control weight and demonstrated unhealthy attitudes toward food and body image in the prior 12 months.

I also read that people who tend to be overweight or obese tend to earn less and are less likely to get promoted or hired for jobs. How outrageous! Is it any wonder why these individuals take extreme measures to lose weight?

Over time, an eating disorder will interfere with normal aspects of life, such as work, education, and relationships. Most people with eating disorders find it hard to ask for help or accept help. This is for many reasons:

· The shame of having an eating problem (particularly in men)

· The eating disorder is useful- this is a big issue for most people with an active eating problem. Purging can become a way to manage moods or to get through the day.

· Perhaps they believe that they don’t deserve to get help / that they should be able to crack this on their own. · The belief that they are not ill enough or, there are people worse off than them.

How do we help such individuals?

A holistic approach is needed; physical, emotional, nutritional and above all being able to help the individual become happier and confident with who they are, help them manage their feelings, have better relationships, and find meaning and purpose in life. Different kinds of therapies can help individuals achieve these goals such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), emotional freedom technique (EFT), neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), and motivational interviewing. Sometimes understanding childhood trauma is a good place to start.

A little bit about each of these therapies:

CBT is a type of talk therapy (psychotherapy) that helps individuals to become aware of their dysfunctional or negative thinking and behavior. It explores the relationships among a person’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and helps them uncover self-destructive behaviors and beliefs. CBT aims to help individuals to deal with overwhelming problems in a more positive way by breaking them down into smaller parts. CBT looks for ways to improve an individual’s state of mind daily.

For more information and to download free CBT exercises that you can practice on your own visit: https://positivepsychology.com/what-is-cbt-definition-meaning/

EFT is an alternative therapy created by Gary Craig used for the treatment of different physical and emotional issues. It is referred to as tapping or psychological acupressure. It is based on Chinese medicine where meridian points (energy hot spots) are thought of as areas of the body energy flows through. Any imbalance in these pathways can lead to sickness or disease. The technique of tapping can help restore the energy imbalance in one’s body as tapping helps send signals to the part of the brain that controls stress. By stimulating the meridian points through EFT, tapping can reduce negative emotions leading to restoration of balance to ones disrupted energy. Here is a fantastic instructional video on how to perform EFT on yourself: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eihUt_CXxic

NLP is the practice of understanding how people organize their thinking, and language and how this affects their behavior. It is a way of changing someone’s thoughts and behaviors to help them achieve their goals. It is also used in the treatment of anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder and phobias and improvement of workplace performance or personal happiness.

To read more click here: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/320368 To watch NLP in action watch this video called “Training NLP with Tony Robbins:” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANY8-_kqCZQ

These therapies are useful for any type of eating disorder. Nevertheless, there are some specialized treatments for each eating disorder. For example, nutritional rehabilitation is especially useful for anorexics. However, depending on the severity some individuals may need to be hospitalized. There are hospitals which have Eating Disorder Programs which include inpatient services. Some centers also provide family and group therapy. For bulimia, nutritional counseling is a treatment option. There are organizations such as the Academy for Eating Disorders and The National Eating Disorders Association that can help individuals with proper resources.

Here is a therapist’s YouTube channel who specializes in binge eating disorder: https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=the+binge+eating+therapist A friend who is currently suffering from binge eating disorder has found this therapist helpful so far. On a side note, this friend of mine is also on anti-depressants which is the medication of choice for bulimia and binge eating disorders. Sometimes a combination of therapy and medications is required to treat eating disorders especially when they go hand in hand with other psychiatric illnesses such as depression and anxiety. There are medications that can help anorexics as well. Please visit your Family Physician or a Psychiatrist for additional information.

Here is a website that can help you in finding a suitable eating disorder therapist: https://eating-disorders.org.uk/information/how-to-find-a-good-eating-disorder-therapist/

Additionally mindful eating can help as well. Below is Part One. Part Two can be found as a PDF on the "Our Tool Box" page.

In conclusion, I ultimately believe that the first step to overcoming an eating disorder is to learn to accept ourselves for who we are. Practicing self-love and self-care is vital to our mental and overall health. When we commit to doing this, we will stop looking for external validation, and this helps pave the way to overcoming many problems such as eating disorders.

Tools to help us:

1) Set healthy boundaries and/or end toxic relationships: avoid people who do not value you for who you are! 2) Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) 3) Emotional freedom technique (EFT) 4) Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) 5) Nutritional rehabilitation for anorexics 6) Nutritional counseling for bulimics 7) Self-care and self-love: refer to my self-care blogs for more tips 8) Mindful Eating 9) Medications – ask your Family Physician or Psychiatrist about what’s best for you 10) Follow @beatingeatingdisorders on Instagram for motivation

Here is a wonderful song for you by John Legend called All Of Me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=450p7goxZqg

References:

1) Eating Disorders, https://www.riobravofmrp.org/qweek/episode/24c35192/episode-76-eating-disorders 2) Boys have eating disorders, too. Doctors think social media is making it worse, https://www.wsj.com/articles/boys-have-eating-disorders-too-doctors-think-social-media-is-making-it-worse-11636812000 3) Why people get eating disorders, https://eating-disorders.org.uk/information/why-people-get-eating-disorders/ 4) The media and eating disorders, https://eating-disorders.org.uk/information/the-media-eating-disorders/ 5) What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)? A Psychologist Explains, https://positivepsychology.com/what-is-cbt-definition-meaning/ 6) EFT Tapping, https://www.healthline.com/health/eft-tapping#technique 7) What is NLP and what is it used for? https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/320368 8) Images from @beatingeatingdisorders